Old Folks' Home: Difference between revisions

From Wikipedia of the Dark Brotherhood, an online Star Wars Club
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<tr><td colspan="2" bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller; text-align: center;"> [[File:Thehome-logo.jpg|200px]]
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<tr><td colspan="2" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: center; color: #e5e5ed; font-size:larger; background-color:#5F7F90; text-align:center; font-variant:small-caps;"> '''Old Folks' Home'''
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<tr><td colspan="2" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: center; color: #e5e5ed; background-color:#4C6775; text-align:center; font-size:8pt;"> '''General information'''
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Founder(s):
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[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Seraine_%22Erinyes%22_T%C3%A9nama Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama]
{{Organization  infobox
|name=Old Folks' Home
|image=[[File:Thehome-logo.jpg|200px]]
|founder=[[Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama]]
|leader=[[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]]
|members=
* [[Jac Cotelin]]
* [[Howlader]]
* [[Shadow Taldrya]]
* [[Sithspawn Taldrya]]
* [[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]]
|headquarters="The Home"
|locations=Underground of [[Karufr]]
|formed=
|founded=[[20 ABY to 29 ABY#26 ABY|26 ABY]]
|reorganized=
|fragmented=
|dissolved=
|restored=
|affiliation=
*[[Taldryan]]
*[[House Dinaari]] <small>(formerly)</small>
|era=[[Dark Jedi Brotherhood Era]]
}}




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{{Quote|We're too old for this shit.|Team Motto}}
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Leader(s):
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<td bgcolor="#2B2B2B" style="background: #2B2B2B; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; font-size:smaller;">
 
[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]
 
 
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Headquarters:
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<td bgcolor="#2B2B2B" style="background: #2B2B2B; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; font-size:smaller;">
"The Home"
 
 
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Underground of [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Karufr Karufr]
 
 
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<tr><td colspan="2" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: center; color: #e5e5ed; background-color:#4C6775; text-align:center; font-size:8pt;"> '''Historical information'''
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Founding:
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[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/26_ABY_to_Present#26_ABY 26 ABY]
 
 
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<tr><td colspan="2" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: center; color: #e5e5ed; background-color:#4C6775; text-align:center; font-size:8pt;"> '''Other information'''
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Notable members:
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* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Jac_Cotelin Jac Cotelin]
* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Howlader Howlader]
* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Shadow_Taldrya Shadow Taldrya]
* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sithspawn_Taldrya Sithspawn Taldrya]
* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Affilliation:
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* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Taldryan Taldryan]
* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/House_Dinaari House Dinaari] (<small>formerly</small>)
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<td bgcolor="#222222;" style="background: #222222; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; color: #cccccc; font-size:smaller;"> Era(s):
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<td bgcolor="#2B2B2B" style="background: #2B2B2B; padding-left:6px; padding-right:6px; border-top: 1px solid #111111; font-size:smaller;">
 
[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Dark_Jedi_Brotherhood_Era Dark Jedi Brotherhood Era]
 
 
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<dl>
<dd>"''We're too old for this shit.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Team Motto
</dd>
</dl>In [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/26_ABY_to_Present#26_ABY 26 ABY], a crack unit of venerable [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Jedi Dark Jedi] were [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/AWOL AWOLed] by their anal retentive [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Clan Clan] leaders. These men promptly escaped from the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Rogue Rogues] to [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/House_Dinaari House Dinaari], in the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Karufr Karufr] underground. Today, inactive and cranky, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can actually convince them to be active, maybe you can hire... [[The Old Folks' Home]].
 


In [[20_ABY_to_29 ABY#26_ABY|26 ABY]], a crack unit of venerable [[starwars:Dark Jedi|Dark Jedi]] were [[AWOL|AWOLed]] by their anal retentive [[Clan]] leaders. These men promptly escaped from the [[Rogue]]s to [[House Dinaari]], in the [[Karufr]] underground. Today, inactive and cranky, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can actually convince them to be active, maybe you can hire... The [[Old Folks' Home]].


==  History  ==
==  History  ==
===  Founding the Team  ===
===  Founding the Team  ===
<dl>
{{Quote|What the hell am I supposed to do with all these old people? Put them in a home?|[[Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama]], former Quaestor of House Dinaari}}
<dd>"''What the hell am I supposed to do with all these old people? Put them in a home?''"
</dd>
<dd>— [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Seraine_%22Erinyes%22_T%C3%A9nama Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama], former Quaestor of House Dinaari
</dd>
</dl>[[File:Claw_of_Dinaari.jpg|thumb|150px|right|House Dinaari Logo]]


[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/House_Dinaari House Dinaari] had always been a proud [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/House House], filled with many powerful members that often went on to become great leaders in the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Dark_Brotherhood Dark Brotherhood], some even serving the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Dark_Council Dark Council]. Of course, after all these incredible stints of leadership, the members would return to their alma mater—Dinaari—ready for a good, long rest. While this was considered part and parcel for the loyal members of [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Taldryan Taldryan], these aging superstars began to clog up the House's roster, sitting inactive until something interesting enough came along to motivate them to activity. This caused the House's [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Quaestor Quaestors] and [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Aedile Aediles] a fair few headaches and a great amount of grief.
[[File:Claw_of_Dinaari.jpg|thumb|150px|right|House Dinaari Logo]]


The solution to the problem came about in [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/26_ABY_to_Present#26_ABY 26 ABY], when then Quaestor, [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Seraine_%22Erinyes%22_T%C3%A9nama Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama], decided to get the permits necessary to build a facility on [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Karufr Karufr] to separate the old members from the young. With enthusiastic approval from the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Clan_Summit Clan Summit], the project was green-lit and the foundations were laid within the week. Less than a month later the complex was completed, fully staffed, and ready for the elderly to move in. She dubbed the facility the [[Old Folks' Home]].
[[House Dinaari]] had always been a proud [[House]], filled with many powerful members that often went on to become great leaders in the [[Dark Brotherhood]], some even serving the [[Dark Council]]. Of course, after all these incredible stints of leadership, the members would return to their alma mater—Dinaari—ready for a good, long rest. While this was considered part and parcel for the loyal members of [[Taldryan]], these aging superstars began to clog up the House's roster, sitting inactive until something interesting enough came along to motivate them to activity. This caused the House's [[Quaestor]]s and [[Aedile]]s a fair few headaches and a great amount of grief.
 
Under the guise of an "elite" [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Battleteam battle unit], the Home was set up to keep the old folk occupied until a [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Vendetta vendetta] came around that they could make themselves useful in. As those occasions were few and far between, it was decided the team members would need a caretaker—someone to ensure they didn't get the Clan into any trouble. Thus, the position of [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sergeant Sergeant] was utilized to take command, though it was quietly referred to as the "Head Nurse" by other Summit members. With everything taken care of, the House Summit was able to leave the day-to-day care of the old people to the nurses, leaving them free to focus on the new, young members that were actually active.


The solution to the problem came about in [[20_ABY_to_29 ABY#26_ABY|26 ABY]], when then Quaestor, [[Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama]], decided to get the permits necessary to build a facility on [[Karufr]] to separate the old members from the young. With enthusiastic approval from the [[Clan Summit]], the project was green-lit and the foundations were laid within the week. Less than a month later the complex was completed, fully staffed, and ready for the elderly to move in. She dubbed the facility the [[Old Folks' Home]].


Under the guise of an "elite" [[Battleteam|battle unit]], the Home was set up to keep the old folk occupied until a [[Vendetta|vendetta]] came around that they could make themselves useful in. As those occasions were few and far between, it was decided the team members would need a caretaker—someone to ensure they didn't get the Clan into any trouble. Thus, the position of [[Sergeant]] was utilized to take command, though it was quietly referred to as the "Head Nurse" by other Summit members. With everything taken care of, the House Summit was able to leave the day-to-day care of the old people to the nurses, leaving them free to focus on the new, young members that were actually active.


===  Dissolution of a Clan  ===
===  Dissolution of a Clan  ===
<dl>
{{Quote|This doesn't affect us at all.|Opinion of the Home's members}}
<dd>"''This doesn't affect us at all.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Opinion of the Home's members
</dd>
</dl>When the Dark Council decided to dissolve all the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Clan Clans] and bring back Independent Houses, the members of the Old Folks' Home were decidedly apathetic. Though this was a period of great upheaval for many, they managed to remain untouched by the bedlam. The logistics behind the move were left to young upstarts better suited to such dull busy-work. Because the old folks were obstinate and far too set in their ways, the Home was left exactly as it was and got adopted by the new [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Taldryan House Taldryan].
 
Despite the lack of any noticeable difference, some of the members grew to be even less active, sleeping through several major events despite pleas of assistance from the Summit. Because of this, Taldryan failed to maintain its first place standings and several of the other Clans-turned-Houses started getting uppity. These failures further served to isolate the team from the rest of the House. Things were beginning to look bleak for the aging [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Jedi Dark Jedi] and it was wondered if the Home would be shut down as punishment for their inaction.


When the Dark Council decided to dissolve all the [[Clan]]s and bring back Independent Houses, the members of the Old Folks' Home were decidedly apathetic. Though this was a period of great upheaval for many, they managed to remain untouched by the bedlam. The logistics behind the move were left to young upstarts better suited to such dull busy-work. Because the old folks were obstinate and far too set in their ways, the Home was left exactly as it was and got adopted by the new [[Taldryan|House Taldryan]].


Despite the lack of any noticeable difference, some of the members grew to be even less active, sleeping through several major events despite pleas of assistance from the Summit. Because of this, Taldryan failed to maintain its first place standings and several of the other Clans-turned-Houses started getting uppity. These failures further served to isolate the team from the rest of the House. Things were beginning to look bleak for the aging [[starwars:Dark Jedi|Dark Jedi]] and it was wondered if the Home would be shut down as punishment for their inaction.


===  Mission: Incontinent  ===
===  Mission: Incontinent  ===
<dl>
{{Quote|If you have a problem,<br>if no one else can help,<br>and if you can actually convince them to be active,<br>maybe you can hire... The Old Folks' Home.|— OFH Business Card}}
<dd>"''If you have a problem,
 
if no one else can help,
 
and if you can actually convince them to be active,
 
maybe you can hire... The Old Folks' Home.''"
</dd>
<dd>— OFH Business Card
</dd>
</dl>
Everything changed when an ancient [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sith Sith] pilot, known simply as [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Howlader Howlader], joined the Home. Arriving from the even more inactive [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Emperor%27s_Hammer Emperor's Hammer], he had seen the ravaging effects of inactivity and so brought with him a grand idea. To combat the ever-present boredom felt by some of the members, he suggested they open a mercenary-for-hire business run out of the Home's basement. The goal was to have kickass adventures and make tons of [[File:Thehome-sabaac.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Sabaac player]][http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/credits credits] without the Summit ever realizing what was going on. Joined by his friends [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Whiner] and [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Shadow_Taldrya Shadow Taldrya], the three started advertising for their super awesome team of soldiers of fortune.
Business quickly took off, with beings from all over the Brotherhood contracting the Home for impossibly dangerous tasks. Due to the workload, each job received its own unique team, specifically suited for the whatever the client required. Though the Sergeant remained a figurehead, team leaders were selected through heated games of [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Corellian Corellian]-style [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sabaac Sabaac]. These temporary leaders would then choose their party and plot out how to handle the task. Though such a scheme would rarely be effective, the old folks knew how to get things done, and they always managed, against all odds, to complete their mission.


Everything changed when an ancient [[Sith]] pilot, known simply as [[Howlader]], joined the Home. Arriving from the even more inactive [[Emperor's Hammer]], he had seen the ravaging effects of inactivity and so brought with him a grand idea. To combat the ever-present boredom felt by some of the members, he suggested they open a mercenary-for-hire business run out of the Home's basement. The goal was to have kickass adventures and make tons of [[File:Thehome-sabaac.jpg|thumb|150px|left|Sabaac player]] [[starwars:credits|credits]] without the Summit ever realizing what was going on. Joined by his friends [[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner|Benevolent Whiner]] and [[Shadow Taldrya]], the three started advertising for their super awesome team of soldiers of fortune.


Business quickly took off, with beings from all over the Brotherhood contracting the Home for impossibly dangerous tasks. Due to the workload, each job received its own unique team, specifically suited for the whatever the client required. Though the Sergeant remained a figurehead, team leaders were selected through heated games of [[starwars:Corellian|Corellian]]-style [[starwars:Sabaac|Sabaac]]. These temporary leaders would then choose their party and plot out how to handle the task. Though such a scheme would rarely be effective, the old folks knew how to get things done, and they always managed, against all odds, to complete their mission.


==  The Home  ==
==  The Home  ==
<dl>
{{Quote|If you see any damn kids on the lawn, shoot 'em.|Howlader, being ornery}}
<dd>"''If you see any damn kids on the lawn, shoot 'em.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Howlader, being ornery
</dd>
</dl>"The Home" served as the team's headquarters and base of operations, located in the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Karufr Karufr] underground, far from the oversight of the Taldryan leadership and away from the damn kids and their noise. To set up their base, the team acquired an old, expansive villa that had once served as the Consul's leisure estate. B.H. Cotelin himself oversaw the acquisition and construction of The Home, wanting to ensure it perfectly matched the teams' needs.


"The Home" served as the team's headquarters and base of operations, located in the [[Karufr]] underground, far from the oversight of the Taldryan leadership and away from the damn kids and their noise. To set up their base, the team acquired an old, expansive villa that had once served as the Consul's leisure estate. B.H. Cotelin himself oversaw the acquisition and construction of The Home, wanting to ensure it perfectly matched the teams' needs.


One of the most noted "features" of The Home was its complimentary nursing staff, comprised entirely of humanoids rather than the customary [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Droid droid] medics. Each member of the team had his own private nurse for personal care, grooming, and exercise... and whatever else the nurses could be talked into providing. The staff ensured that the team's members were well cared for and kept in shape for their missions. The nurses also served as a secretarial service when required, keeping away the young House members and handling incoming requests for assistance. [[File:Thehome-mainfloor.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Main Floor of the Home]]
One of the most noted "features" of The Home was its complimentary nursing staff, comprised entirely of humanoids rather than the customary [[starwars:Droid|Droid]] medics. Each member of the team had his own private nurse for personal care, grooming, and exercise... and whatever else the nurses could be talked into providing. The staff ensured that the team's members were well cared for and kept in shape for their missions. The nurses also served as a secretarial service when required, keeping away the young House members and handling incoming requests for assistance. [[File:Thehome-mainfloor.jpg|thumb|200px|right|Main Floor of the Home]]


===  Main Floor  ===
===  Main Floor  ===
<dl>
{{Quote|Best. Home. Ever.|Everyone}}
<dd>"''Best. Home. Ever.''"
 
</dd>
The main floor of the home was designed with the comfort of members as a top priority. Three rooms dominated the floor, all explicitly added to ensure the old folk were kept happy and occupied. The first was the rec room, an impressively large chamber filled with recliners, large televisions, poker tables, and even a shuffle board. It was connected to the nurse's station who provided special care and lots and lots of medications. Also connected to the rec room was the cafeteria and kitchens, so the members didn't have to go far to get a snack or a drink.
<dd>— Everyone
</dd>
</dl>The main floor of the home was designed with the comfort of members as a top priority. Three rooms dominated the floor, all explicitly added to ensure the old folk were kept happy and occupied. The first was the rec room, an impressively large chamber filled with recliners, large televisions, poker tables, and even a shuffle board. It was connected to the nurse's station who provided special care and lots and lots of medications. Also connected to the rec room was the cafeteria and kitchens, so the members didn't have to go far to get a snack or a drink.


The second room held Oasis, the in-house bar and nightclub, which provided an astonishing variety of alcohol in vast quantities. Oasis was a hot spot for [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Dark_Brotherhood Dark Brotherhood] dignitaries, [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Elders Elders], and other wealthy or influential [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Dark_Jedi Dark Jedi]. With revenues and tips through the roof, the club attracted the hottest dancers and the most risqué of burlesque shows from all corners of the Galaxy.
The second room held Oasis, the in-house bar and nightclub, which provided an astonishing variety of alcohol in vast quantities. Oasis was a hot spot for [[Dark Brotherhood]] dignitaries, [[Elders]], and other wealthy or influential [[starwars:Dark Jedi|Dark Jedi]]. With revenues and tips through the roof, the club attracted the hottest dancers and the most risqué of burlesque shows from all corners of the Galaxy.


The third, and most prized possession of the Home was its Library. Though a small annex was left for actual books and archives, 90% of the room was devoted to the largest and most diverse collections of pornography ever collected. Members could check out material to take back to their quarters or make use of the special private rooms if they were in a hurry. The porn library was professionally lit and had its own sound system, both designed to set the right mood for, um... relaxation. Because it was so beloved, the members had Benevolent install a state-of-the-art security system to protect the porn that prevented it from being touched by non-team members. To help members find their way through the collection, the team hired a librarian. She was, of course, of the naughty/sexy variety.
The third, and most prized possession of the Home was its Library. Though a small annex was left for actual books and archives, 90% of the room was devoted to the largest and most diverse collections of pornography ever collected. Members could check out material to take back to their quarters or make use of the special private rooms if they were in a hurry. The porn library was professionally lit and had its own sound system, both designed to set the right mood for, um... relaxation. Because it was so beloved, the members had Benevolent install a state-of-the-art security system to protect the porn that prevented it from being touched by non-team members. To help members find their way through the collection, the team hired a librarian. She was, of course, of the naughty/sexy variety.


===  The Sub-Basement  ===
{{Quote|For the love of pandas, Howie. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!|Benevolent, protecting his projects}}
[[File:Thehome-subbasement.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Secret Sub-basement of the Home]]


The Sub-Basement of the Home, better known as "Ben's Lair", was the domain of [[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]], [[Sergeant]] and overall "leader" of the team. From here, he oversaw the creation, repair, and replacement of the team's various gadgets and other equipment, spending so much time underground that he had his personal quarters located outside his lab. Upon exiting the turbolifts, members had to pass through stringent security measures (mainly installed to keep Howlader at bay) to enter the rest of the floor.


===  The Sub-Basement  ===
The sub-basement was designed to house the team's mercenary operations, which was kept hidden from the annoying members of the rest of the House. First stop after security was the communications room, filled with cutting edge equipment used to monitor comm traffic and download the latest high-definition vids from across the Galaxy. Across from the comms room was the armory, a spacious chamber filled with weapons, munitions, and (of course) armor. Generally, it was filled wall-to-wall with [[starwars:energy cell|energy cell]]s and [[starwars:Bryar pistol|Bryar pistol]]s as it was the team's [[starwars:blaster|blaster]] of choice. Between the communications center and armor was the Home's generator. Access to this was restricted to Benevolent only, for obvious reasons.  
<dl>
<dd>"''For the love of pandas, Howie. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!''"
</dd>
<dd>— Benevolent, protecting his projects
</dd>
</dl>[[File:Thehome-subbasement.jpg|thumb|200px|left|Secret Sub-basement of the Home]]
The Sub-Basement of the Home, better known as "Ben's Lair", was the domain of [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner], [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sergeant Sergeant] and overall "leader" of the team. From here, he oversaw the creation, repair, and replacement of the team's various gadgets and other equipment, spending so much time underground that he had his personal quarters located outside his lab. Upon exiting the turbolifts, members had to pass through stringent security measures (mainly installed to keep Howlader at bay) to enter the rest of the floor.
 
The sub-basement was designed to house the team's mercenary operations, which was kept hidden from the annoying members of the rest of the House. First stop after security was the communications room, filled with cutting edge equipment used to monitor comm traffic and download the latest high-definition vids from across the Galaxy. Across from the comms room was the armory, a spacious chamber filled with weapons, munitions, and (of course) armor. Generally, it was filled wall-to-wall with [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/energy_cell energy cells] and [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Bryar_pistol Bryar pistols] as it was the team's [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/blaster blaster] of choice. Between the communications center and armor was the Home's generator. Access to this was restricted to Benevolent only, for obvious reasons.  


Across the hall from the armory was the tech lab, the heart of Ben's Lair. Filled with strange equipment, half-completed gadgets, and dangerous inventions, the tech lab was a scary place to visit... especially if Howlader accompanied you. Whether you needed to repair your lightsaber or the damn sex droids were acting up again, the tech lab was there to accommodate you.
Across the hall from the armory was the tech lab, the heart of Ben's Lair. Filled with strange equipment, half-completed gadgets, and dangerous inventions, the tech lab was a scary place to visit... especially if Howlader accompanied you. Whether you needed to repair your lightsaber or the damn sex droids were acting up again, the tech lab was there to accommodate you.
Line 208: Line 86:
At the far end of the sub-basement were two small rooms, one for the storage of various miscellaneous items and the other a small repair shop for the often ailing Freighter used on missions. The super secret hangar that held ''Senility'' was found just beyond these rooms—a vast chamber with remote-controlled bay doors that opened up on the grounds of Karufr. It was high-tech and very, very cool.
At the far end of the sub-basement were two small rooms, one for the storage of various miscellaneous items and the other a small repair shop for the often ailing Freighter used on missions. The super secret hangar that held ''Senility'' was found just beyond these rooms—a vast chamber with remote-controlled bay doors that opened up on the grounds of Karufr. It was high-tech and very, very cool.


==  ''Senility''  ==
{{Main|[[starwars:XS-800 Light Freighter|XS-800 Light Freighter]]}}
{{Quote|The finest ship ever constructed... a thousand years ago.|Shadow Taldrya}}
[[File:XS_800_Senility.png|thumb|180px|left|''Senility'']]


''Senility'' was an an aging [[starwars:Corellian Engineering Corporation|Corellian Engineering Corporation]] [[starwars:Light Freighter|Light Freighter]], designed around the comfort of its passengers. An ideal vessel for the Home, it could sustain atmospheric flight and had a powerful [[starwars:laser cannon|double laser cannon]], which provided some offensive power. The ship was bought for a steal (or it may have been stolen) and provided the team with a mostly reliable means of transportation. Due to its age, however, the team  made some concessions and decided modify the ship slightly to make it more suitable for their operations.


==  ''Senility''  ==
Since it was never used for sustained travel, much of the cargo bay space was converted to a small bar and lounge, where members could grab a quick drink or play some poker during [[starwars:Lightspeed|Lightspeed]] travel. Because the old Class 3 drive was deemed too slow, the team upgraded to a Class 1 [[starwars:Hyperdrive|Hyperdrive]] so they could get to their destinations and complete their missions faster. The common area was also upgraded with expensive reclining chairs and a fancy home theater system.
<dl>
<dd>''Main article: [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/XS-800_light_freighter XS-800 Light Freighter]
''
</dd>
<dd>"''The finest ship ever constructed... a thousand years ago.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Shadow Taldrya
</dd>
</dl>[[File:XS_800_Senility.png|thumb|180px|left|''Senility'']]
''Senility'' was an an aging [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Corellian_Engineering_Corporation Corellian Engineering Corporation] [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Light_Freighter Light Freighter], designed around the comfort of its passengers. An ideal vessel for the Home, it could sustain atmospheric flight and had a powerful [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/laser_cannon double laser cannon], which provided some offensive power. The ship was bought for a steal (or it may have been stolen) and provided the team with a mostly reliable means of transportation. Due to its age, however, the team  made some concessions and decided modify the ship slightly to make it more suitable for their operations.
 
Since it was never used for sustained travel, much of the cargo bay space was converted to a small bar and lounge, where members could grab a quick drink or play some poker during [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lightspeed Lightspeed] travel. Because the old Class 3 drive was deemed too slow, the team upgraded to a Class 1 [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Hyperdrive Hyperdrive] so they could get to their destinations and complete their missions faster. The common area was also upgraded with expensive reclining chairs and a fancy home theater system.


The XS-800 had quarters for up to ten people, each with their own bunk, refresher and independent climate control. This made voyages that much more comfortable, as most of the team needed a solid eighteen hours of sleep to properly function. Indeed, ''Senility'' was definitely the perfect ship for the Old Folks' Home.
The XS-800 had quarters for up to ten people, each with their own bunk, refresher and independent climate control. This made voyages that much more comfortable, as most of the team needed a solid eighteen hours of sleep to properly function. Indeed, ''Senility'' was definitely the perfect ship for the Old Folks' Home.


==  De-Classified Missions  ==
{{Quote|Don't bother us unless there's a Great Jedi War.|Standard team response to activity requests}}


 
<table width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" class="fancy">
==  De-Classified Missions  ==
<dl>
<dd>"''Don't bother us unless there's a Great Jedi War.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Standard team response to activity requests
</dd>
</dl>
<table width="100%" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" class="fancy"><tbody>
<tr><td colspan="4" style="background-color: #131E3D; border-bottom: 1px solid #111111" class="head"> '''List of Old Folks' Home Missions'''
<tr><td colspan="4" style="background-color: #131E3D; border-bottom: 1px solid #111111" class="head"> '''List of Old Folks' Home Missions'''
</td></tr>
</td></tr>
Line 249: Line 114:
</tr>
</tr>
<tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111"> [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/30_ABY_to_39_ABY#34_ABY 34 ABY]
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111"> [[30_ABY_to_39_ABY#34_ABY|34 ABY]]
</td>
</td>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/26501842/OFH%20versus%20The%20Grand%20Master.pdf '''OFH versus the Grand Master''']
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/26501842/OFH%20versus%20The%20Grand%20Master.pdf '''OFH versus the Grand Master''']
</td>
</td>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111">[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Jac_Cotelin Jac Cotelin]
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111">[[Jac Cotelin]]
</td>
</td>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111">[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner], [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Howlader Howlader], [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Shadow_Taldrya Shadow Taldrya]
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111">[[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]], [[Howlader]], [[Shadow Taldrya]]
</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr><td colspan="4" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> The team is contracted by the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Herald Herald]'s Office to track down and eliminate a Brotherhood traitor who is selling secrets to the [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_Remnant Imperial Remnant]. They travel from [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Coruscant Coruscant] to [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Bastion Bastion] to track their prey, the adventure culminating in an insanely climactic battle against a legion of Imperial troops and an old [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Grand_Master Grand Master].
<tr><td colspan="4" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> The team is contracted by the [[Herald]]'s Office to track down and eliminate a Brotherhood traitor who is selling secrets to the [[starwars:Imperial Remnant|Imperial Remnant]]. They travel from [[starwars:Coruscant|Coruscant]] to [[starwars:Bastion|Bastion]] to track their prey, the adventure culminating in an insanely climactic battle against a legion of Imperial troops and an old [[Grand Master]].
</td></tr>
</td></tr>
<tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111" class="alt"> [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/30_ABY_to_39_ABY#35_ABY 35 ABY]
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111" class="alt"> [[30_ABY_to_39_ABY#35_ABY|35 ABY]]
</td>
</td>
<td class="alt" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left; border-right: 1px solid #111111"> [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/26501842/OFH%20versus%20the%20Blue%20Alien%20Chick.pdf '''OFH versus the Blue Alien Chick''']
<td class="alt" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left; border-right: 1px solid #111111"> [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/26501842/OFH%20versus%20the%20Blue%20Alien%20Chick.pdf '''OFH versus the Blue Alien Chick''']
Line 273: Line 138:
</td></tr>
</td></tr>
<tr>
<tr>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111"> [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/30_ABY_to_39_ABY#35_ABY 35 ABY]
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111"> [[30_ABY_to_39_ABY#35_ABY|35 ABY]]
</td>
</td>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/26501842/OFH%20versus%20the%20White%20Whale.pdf '''OFH versus the White Whale''']
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> [http://dl.dropbox.com/u/26501842/OFH%20versus%20the%20White%20Whale.pdf '''OFH versus the White Whale''']
</td>
</td>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111">[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sithspawn_Taldrya Sithspawn Taldrya]
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; border-right: 1px solid #111111">[[Sithspawn Taldrya]]
</td>
</td>
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111">Benevolent Taldrya Whiner, Howlader, Shadow Taldrya
<td style="border-top: 1px solid #111111">Benevolent Taldrya Whiner, Howlader, Shadow Taldrya
</td>
</td>
</tr>
</tr>
<tr><td colspan="4" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> After receiving a bounty request for the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Independence_Games Independence Games], Sithspawn forcibly drags the team to the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Cocytus_System Cocytus System] to capture the legendary white whale. Using a specially modified [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Lambda-class_T-4a_shuttle Lambda-class Shuttle], the team manages to harpoon the behemoth and return it to [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Antei Antei] without encountering any notable resistance.
<tr><td colspan="4" style="border-top: 1px solid #111111; text-align: left"> After receiving a bounty request for the [[Independence Games]], Sithspawn forcibly drags the team to the [[Cocytus System]] to capture the legendary white whale. Using a specially modified [[starwars:Lambda-class_T-4a_shuttle|Lambda-class Shuttle]], the team manages to harpoon the behemoth and return it to [[Antei]] without encountering any notable resistance.
</td></tr>
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="4" style="background-color: #131E3D; border-top: 1px solid #111111" class="foot">
<tr><td colspan="4" style="background-color: #131E3D; border-top: 1px solid #111111" class="foot">
</td></tr>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</table>
 
==  Member Dossiers  ==
==  Member Dossiers  ==
[[File:OFHTeam.jpg|thumb|336px|right|The first OFH members. From left to right: Thrustworthy, B.H. Cotelin (below), Bootman, and Howie]]
[[File:OFHTeam.jpg|thumb|250px|right|The first OFH members. From left to right: Thrustworthy, B.H. Cotelin (below), Bootman, and Howie]]


===  Jac "B.H." Cotelin  ===
===  Jac "B.H." Cotelin  ===
<dl><dd>''Main article: [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Jac_Cotelin Jac Cotelin]
{{Main|[[Jac Cotelin]]}}
''
</dd></dl>'''Biography'''


'''Biography'''
{{Quote|I'll hunt down that buffalo and give her what for!|Jac Cotelin}}


<dl>
[[Jac Cotelin]] was a [[Grand Master]]. Nothing else needs to be said.
<dd>"''I'll hunt down that buffalo and give her what for!''"
</dd>
<dd>— Jac Cotelin
</dd>
</dl>
[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Jac_Cotelin Jac Cotelin] was a [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Grand_Master Grand Master]. Nothing else needs to be said.


'''Specialties'''
'''Specialties'''
* Leadership  
* Leadership  
* Intelligence-gathering
* Intelligence-gathering
Line 312: Line 170:


===  Howlader AKA "Howie"  ===
===  Howlader AKA "Howie"  ===
<dl><dd>''Main article: [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Howlader Howlader]
{{Main|[[Howlader]]}}
''
</dd></dl>'''Biography'''


'''Biography'''
{{Quote|Pandas? Pandas!|Howlader}}


<dl>
Ornery by nature, [[Howlader]] was the gruff, lovable, and slightly deranged pilot for the Old Folks' Home. His years spent in the [[starwars:Imperial_Navy|Imperial Naval Service]] had honed his ample natural talents and made him one of the best pilots and navigators the Brotherhood had to offer. However, old age eroded much of his military-instilled, by-the-book sense of duty, paving the way for the much crazier, often death-defying, flying by the seat of your pants approach.
<dd>"''Pandas? Pandas!''"
</dd>
<dd>— Howlader
</dd>
</dl>Ornery by nature, [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Howlader Howlader] was the gruff, lovable, and slightly deranged pilot for the Old Folks' Home. His years spent in the [http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Imperial_Navy Imperial Naval Service] had honed his ample natural talents and made him one of the best pilots and navigators the Brotherhood had to offer. However, old age eroded much of his military-instilled, by-the-book sense of duty, paving the way for the much crazier, often death-defying, flying by the seat of your pants approach.


'''Specialties'''
'''Specialties'''
* Piloting
* Piloting
* Navigation
* Navigation
Line 332: Line 183:


===  Shadow "Thrustworthy" Taldrya  ===
===  Shadow "Thrustworthy" Taldrya  ===
<dl><dd>''Main article: [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Shadow_Taldrya Shadow Taldrya]
{{Main|[[Shadow Taldrya]]}}
''
</dd></dl>'''Biography'''


'''Biography'''
{{Quote|Do you mind if I fight without any pants?|Shadow Taldrya}}


<dl>
The resident ladies' man, [[Shadow Taldrya]] was an odd mixture of incorrigible sex addict and unstoppable killing machine. In both these capacities he managed to serve the team, using his magnetic personality to build contacts and turn assets to his side while, as a warrior, he was first on the field when situations inevitably turned ugly.  
<dd>"''Do you mind if I fight without any pants?''"
</dd>
<dd>— Shadow Taldrya
</dd>
</dl>The resident ladies' man, [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Shadow_Taldrya Shadow Taldrya] was an odd mixture of incorrigible sex addict and unstoppable killing machine. In both these capacities he managed to serve the team, using his magnetic personality to build contacts and turn assets to his side while, as a warrior, he was first on the field when situations inevitably turned ugly.  


'''Specialties'''
'''Specialties'''
* Combat
* Combat
* Seduction
* Seduction


===  Benevolent "Bootman" Whiner  ===
===  Benevolent "Bootman" Whiner  ===
<dl><dd>''Main article: [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]
{{Main|[[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]]}}
''
</dd></dl>'''Biography'''


'''Biography'''
{{Quote|Marmalade.|Benevolent Whiner}}


<dl>
[[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]] served as the team's resident genius, his aptitude for the subtle art of hacking and electronic warfare offset by his love of big explosions. Unfortunately, these same skills made Benevolent a primary choice for dangerous missions, placing him in the company of the reckless, and much more resilient, Elders. The frequent danger would take its toll on the [[Primarch]]'s psyche, and he was often forced, kicking and screaming, to jump into dangerous situations where the odds of survival were practically nil.
<dd>"''Marmalade.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Benevolent Whiner
</dd>
</dl>
[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner] served as the team's resident genius, his aptitude for the subtle art of hacking and electronic warfare offset by his love of big explosions. Unfortunately, these same skills made Benevolent a primary choice for dangerous missions, placing him in the company of the reckless, and much more resilient, Elders. The frequent danger would take its toll on the [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Primarch Primarch]'s psyche, and he was often forced, kicking and screaming, to jump into dangerous situations where the odds of survival were practically nil.


'''Specialties'''
'''Specialties'''
* Electronic Warfare
* Electronic Warfare
* Demolitions
* Demolitions


===  Sithspawn "Ziggy" Taldrya  ===
===  Sithspawn "Ziggy" Taldrya  ===
<dl><dd>''Main article: [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sithspawn_Taldrya Sithspawn Taldrya]
{{Main|[[Sithspawn Taldrya]]}}
''
</dd></dl>'''Biography'''


'''Biography'''
{{Quote|Gentlemen, stand ready. We have come here, at great peril, to claim a bounty upon a vile creature, the mere visage of which is enough to ruin a Hutt's appetite. I intend, fully, to take you into harm's way in pursuit of this beast. We shall pursue it, if need be, to the very ends of the galaxy. This, my good chaps, is our finest hour.|Sithspawn Taldrya, preparing the troops to capture the White Whale}}


<dl>
[[Sithspawn Taldrya]] was the team's resident alcoholic, well-trained in the arts of bounty hunting and biological warfare (the latter conducted with his penis). Though often given to bouts of liquor-fueled delusion, Sithspawn still managed to be a capable fighter and an important member of the team. It should also be reported that he had an odd habit (possibly a hobby) of dragging the team on missions to capture great white whales for sport or profit. Generally, the team accepted these strange adventures without remark.
<dd>"''Gentlemen, stand ready. We have come here, at great peril, to claim a bounty upon a vile creature, the mere visage of which is enough to ruin a Hutt's appetite. I intend, fully, to take you into harm's way in pursuit of this beast. We shall pursue it, if need be, to the very ends of the galaxy. This, my good chaps, is our finest hour.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Sithspawn Taldrya, preparing the troops to capture the White Whale
</dd>
</dl>
[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sithspawn_Taldrya Sithspawn Taldrya] was the team's resident alcoholic, well-trained in the arts of bounty hunting and biological warfare (the latter conducted with his penis). Though often given to bouts of liquor-fueled delusion, Sithspawn still managed to be a capable fighter and an important member of the team. It should also be reported that he had an odd habit (possibly a hobby) of dragging the team on missions to capture great white whales for sport or profit. Generally, the team accepted these strange adventures without remark.


'''Specialties'''
'''Specialties'''
* Bounty Hunting/Tracking
* Bounty Hunting/Tracking
* Whaling
* Whaling
Line 392: Line 220:


===  Halcyon "The Bias" Taldrya  ===
===  Halcyon "The Bias" Taldrya  ===
<dl><dd>''Main article: [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Halcyon_Taldrya Halcyon Taldrya]
{{Main|[[Halcyon Taldrya]]}}
''
</dd></dl>'''Biography'''


'''Biography'''
{{Quote|I was raised on the bias, bitch.|Halcyon Taldrya}}


<dl>
[[Halcyon Taldrya]] was officially labeled an ex-member of the Old Folks' Home after returning to active duty as first [[Voice of the Brotherhood]] then, even worse, [[Deputy Grand Master]]. However, although he was publicly shunned by his former team mates for these traitorous actions, Halcyon actually continued to serve the team as a deeply embedded Dark Council mole, relaying pertinent information to the Home.
<dd>"''I was raised on the bias, bitch.''"
</dd>
<dd>— Halcyon Taldrya
</dd>
</dl>
[http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Halcyon_Taldrya Halcyon Taldrya] was officially labeled an ex-member of the Old Folks' Home after returning to active duty as first [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Voice_of_the_Brotherhood Voice of the Brotherhood] then, even worse, [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Deputy_Grand_Master Deputy Grand Master]. However, although he was publicly shunned by his former team mates for these traitorous actions, Halcyon actually continued to serve the team as a deeply embedded Dark Council mole, relaying pertinent information to the Home.


'''Specialties'''
'''Specialties'''
* Bureaucracy
* Bureaucracy
* Bias
* Bias


==  Trivia  ==
==  Trivia  ==
* [[Old Folks' Home]] wiki page created by [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Shadow_Taldrya Shadow Taldrya]
* [[Old Folks' Home]] wiki page created by [[Shadow Taldrya]]
* Though credited to Erinyes, the actual idea for the OFH most likely originated on IRC
* Though credited to Erinyes, the actual idea for the OFH most likely originated on IRC
* The team has had two leaders, [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sithspawn_Taldrya Sithspawn Taldrya] and [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Benevolent_Taldrya_Whiner Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]
* The team has had two leaders, [[Sithspawn Taldrya]] and [[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]]
* Benevolent has served as [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Sergeant Sergeant] of the OFH since July 4, 2007
* Benevolent has served as [[Sergeant]] of the OFH since July 4, 2007
* [http://wiki.darkjedibrotherhood.com/view/Howlader Howlader] loves pandas?
* [[Howlader]] loves pandas?
 


[[Category:Battle Team]]  
[[Category:Battle Team]]  
[[Category:Taldryan]]
[[Category:Taldryan]]

Revision as of 04:23, 29 May 2011


Template:Organization infobox



"We're too old for this shit."
―Team Motto

In 26 ABY, a crack unit of venerable Dark Jedi were AWOLed by their anal retentive Clan leaders. These men promptly escaped from the Rogues to House Dinaari, in the Karufr underground. Today, inactive and cranky, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can actually convince them to be active, maybe you can hire... The Old Folks' Home.

History

Founding the Team


"What the hell am I supposed to do with all these old people? Put them in a home?"
Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama, former Quaestor of House Dinaari
House Dinaari Logo

House Dinaari had always been a proud House, filled with many powerful members that often went on to become great leaders in the Dark Brotherhood, some even serving the Dark Council. Of course, after all these incredible stints of leadership, the members would return to their alma mater—Dinaari—ready for a good, long rest. While this was considered part and parcel for the loyal members of Taldryan, these aging superstars began to clog up the House's roster, sitting inactive until something interesting enough came along to motivate them to activity. This caused the House's Quaestors and Aediles a fair few headaches and a great amount of grief.

The solution to the problem came about in 26 ABY, when then Quaestor, Seraine "Erinyes" Ténama, decided to get the permits necessary to build a facility on Karufr to separate the old members from the young. With enthusiastic approval from the Clan Summit, the project was green-lit and the foundations were laid within the week. Less than a month later the complex was completed, fully staffed, and ready for the elderly to move in. She dubbed the facility the Old Folks' Home.

Under the guise of an "elite" battle unit, the Home was set up to keep the old folk occupied until a vendetta came around that they could make themselves useful in. As those occasions were few and far between, it was decided the team members would need a caretaker—someone to ensure they didn't get the Clan into any trouble. Thus, the position of Sergeant was utilized to take command, though it was quietly referred to as the "Head Nurse" by other Summit members. With everything taken care of, the House Summit was able to leave the day-to-day care of the old people to the nurses, leaving them free to focus on the new, young members that were actually active.

Dissolution of a Clan


"This doesn't affect us at all."
―Opinion of the Home's members

When the Dark Council decided to dissolve all the Clans and bring back Independent Houses, the members of the Old Folks' Home were decidedly apathetic. Though this was a period of great upheaval for many, they managed to remain untouched by the bedlam. The logistics behind the move were left to young upstarts better suited to such dull busy-work. Because the old folks were obstinate and far too set in their ways, the Home was left exactly as it was and got adopted by the new House Taldryan.

Despite the lack of any noticeable difference, some of the members grew to be even less active, sleeping through several major events despite pleas of assistance from the Summit. Because of this, Taldryan failed to maintain its first place standings and several of the other Clans-turned-Houses started getting uppity. These failures further served to isolate the team from the rest of the House. Things were beginning to look bleak for the aging Dark Jedi and it was wondered if the Home would be shut down as punishment for their inaction.

Mission: Incontinent


"If you have a problem,
if no one else can help,
and if you can actually convince them to be active,
maybe you can hire... The Old Folks' Home.
"
―— OFH Business Card

Everything changed when an ancient Sith pilot, known simply as Howlader, joined the Home. Arriving from the even more inactive Emperor's Hammer, he had seen the ravaging effects of inactivity and so brought with him a grand idea. To combat the ever-present boredom felt by some of the members, he suggested they open a mercenary-for-hire business run out of the Home's basement. The goal was to have kickass adventures and make tons of

Sabaac player

credits without the Summit ever realizing what was going on. Joined by his friends Benevolent Whiner and Shadow Taldrya, the three started advertising for their super awesome team of soldiers of fortune.

Business quickly took off, with beings from all over the Brotherhood contracting the Home for impossibly dangerous tasks. Due to the workload, each job received its own unique team, specifically suited for the whatever the client required. Though the Sergeant remained a figurehead, team leaders were selected through heated games of Corellian-style Sabaac. These temporary leaders would then choose their party and plot out how to handle the task. Though such a scheme would rarely be effective, the old folks knew how to get things done, and they always managed, against all odds, to complete their mission.

The Home


"If you see any damn kids on the lawn, shoot 'em."
―Howlader, being ornery

"The Home" served as the team's headquarters and base of operations, located in the Karufr underground, far from the oversight of the Taldryan leadership and away from the damn kids and their noise. To set up their base, the team acquired an old, expansive villa that had once served as the Consul's leisure estate. B.H. Cotelin himself oversaw the acquisition and construction of The Home, wanting to ensure it perfectly matched the teams' needs.

One of the most noted "features" of The Home was its complimentary nursing staff, comprised entirely of humanoids rather than the customary Droid medics. Each member of the team had his own private nurse for personal care, grooming, and exercise... and whatever else the nurses could be talked into providing. The staff ensured that the team's members were well cared for and kept in shape for their missions. The nurses also served as a secretarial service when required, keeping away the young House members and handling incoming requests for assistance.

Main Floor of the Home

Main Floor


"Best. Home. Ever."
―Everyone

The main floor of the home was designed with the comfort of members as a top priority. Three rooms dominated the floor, all explicitly added to ensure the old folk were kept happy and occupied. The first was the rec room, an impressively large chamber filled with recliners, large televisions, poker tables, and even a shuffle board. It was connected to the nurse's station who provided special care and lots and lots of medications. Also connected to the rec room was the cafeteria and kitchens, so the members didn't have to go far to get a snack or a drink.

The second room held Oasis, the in-house bar and nightclub, which provided an astonishing variety of alcohol in vast quantities. Oasis was a hot spot for Dark Brotherhood dignitaries, Elders, and other wealthy or influential Dark Jedi. With revenues and tips through the roof, the club attracted the hottest dancers and the most risqué of burlesque shows from all corners of the Galaxy.

The third, and most prized possession of the Home was its Library. Though a small annex was left for actual books and archives, 90% of the room was devoted to the largest and most diverse collections of pornography ever collected. Members could check out material to take back to their quarters or make use of the special private rooms if they were in a hurry. The porn library was professionally lit and had its own sound system, both designed to set the right mood for, um... relaxation. Because it was so beloved, the members had Benevolent install a state-of-the-art security system to protect the porn that prevented it from being touched by non-team members. To help members find their way through the collection, the team hired a librarian. She was, of course, of the naughty/sexy variety.

The Sub-Basement


"For the love of pandas, Howie. DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING!"
―Benevolent, protecting his projects
Secret Sub-basement of the Home

The Sub-Basement of the Home, better known as "Ben's Lair", was the domain of Benevolent Taldrya Whiner, Sergeant and overall "leader" of the team. From here, he oversaw the creation, repair, and replacement of the team's various gadgets and other equipment, spending so much time underground that he had his personal quarters located outside his lab. Upon exiting the turbolifts, members had to pass through stringent security measures (mainly installed to keep Howlader at bay) to enter the rest of the floor.

The sub-basement was designed to house the team's mercenary operations, which was kept hidden from the annoying members of the rest of the House. First stop after security was the communications room, filled with cutting edge equipment used to monitor comm traffic and download the latest high-definition vids from across the Galaxy. Across from the comms room was the armory, a spacious chamber filled with weapons, munitions, and (of course) armor. Generally, it was filled wall-to-wall with energy cells and Bryar pistols as it was the team's blaster of choice. Between the communications center and armor was the Home's generator. Access to this was restricted to Benevolent only, for obvious reasons.

Across the hall from the armory was the tech lab, the heart of Ben's Lair. Filled with strange equipment, half-completed gadgets, and dangerous inventions, the tech lab was a scary place to visit... especially if Howlader accompanied you. Whether you needed to repair your lightsaber or the damn sex droids were acting up again, the tech lab was there to accommodate you.

At the far end of the sub-basement were two small rooms, one for the storage of various miscellaneous items and the other a small repair shop for the often ailing Freighter used on missions. The super secret hangar that held Senility was found just beyond these rooms—a vast chamber with remote-controlled bay doors that opened up on the grounds of Karufr. It was high-tech and very, very cool.

Senility

Main article: [[XS-800 Light Freighter|XS-800 Light Freighter]]

"The finest ship ever constructed... a thousand years ago."
―Shadow Taldrya
Senility

Senility was an an aging Corellian Engineering Corporation Light Freighter, designed around the comfort of its passengers. An ideal vessel for the Home, it could sustain atmospheric flight and had a powerful double laser cannon, which provided some offensive power. The ship was bought for a steal (or it may have been stolen) and provided the team with a mostly reliable means of transportation. Due to its age, however, the team made some concessions and decided modify the ship slightly to make it more suitable for their operations.

Since it was never used for sustained travel, much of the cargo bay space was converted to a small bar and lounge, where members could grab a quick drink or play some poker during Lightspeed travel. Because the old Class 3 drive was deemed too slow, the team upgraded to a Class 1 Hyperdrive so they could get to their destinations and complete their missions faster. The common area was also upgraded with expensive reclining chairs and a fancy home theater system.

The XS-800 had quarters for up to ten people, each with their own bunk, refresher and independent climate control. This made voyages that much more comfortable, as most of the team needed a solid eighteen hours of sleep to properly function. Indeed, Senility was definitely the perfect ship for the Old Folks' Home.

De-Classified Missions


"Don't bother us unless there's a Great Jedi War."
―Standard team response to activity requests
List of Old Folks' Home Missions
Date Mission Leader Team Members
34 ABY OFH versus the Grand Master Jac Cotelin Benevolent Taldrya Whiner, Howlader, Shadow Taldrya
The team is contracted by the Herald's Office to track down and eliminate a Brotherhood traitor who is selling secrets to the Imperial Remnant. They travel from Coruscant to Bastion to track their prey, the adventure culminating in an insanely climactic battle against a legion of Imperial troops and an old Grand Master.
35 ABY OFH versus the Blue Alien Chick Shadow Taldrya Benevolent Taldrya Whiner, Howlader
Benevolent's latest invention, a dimensional transporter, is accidentally set off by Howlader, sending the entire team into the unfamiliar Mass Effect universe. Upon their arrival, the team interrupts a mercenary gunfight and rescues a blue-skinned alien. Shadow "befriends" the woman and offers to help her escape her enslavement to a barbaric, alien warlord.
35 ABY OFH versus the White Whale Sithspawn Taldrya Benevolent Taldrya Whiner, Howlader, Shadow Taldrya
After receiving a bounty request for the Independence Games, Sithspawn forcibly drags the team to the Cocytus System to capture the legendary white whale. Using a specially modified Lambda-class Shuttle, the team manages to harpoon the behemoth and return it to Antei without encountering any notable resistance.

Member Dossiers

The first OFH members. From left to right: Thrustworthy, B.H. Cotelin (below), Bootman, and Howie

Jac "B.H." Cotelin

Main article: [[Jac Cotelin|Jac Cotelin]]

Biography


"I'll hunt down that buffalo and give her what for!"
―Jac Cotelin

Jac Cotelin was a Grand Master. Nothing else needs to be said.

Specialties

  • Leadership
  • Intelligence-gathering
  • Riding into battle on starships

Howlader AKA "Howie"

Main article: [[Howlader|Howlader]]

Biography


"Pandas? Pandas!"
―Howlader

Ornery by nature, Howlader was the gruff, lovable, and slightly deranged pilot for the Old Folks' Home. His years spent in the Imperial Naval Service had honed his ample natural talents and made him one of the best pilots and navigators the Brotherhood had to offer. However, old age eroded much of his military-instilled, by-the-book sense of duty, paving the way for the much crazier, often death-defying, flying by the seat of your pants approach.

Specialties

  • Piloting
  • Navigation
  • Crazy-ass stunts

Shadow "Thrustworthy" Taldrya

Main article: [[Shadow Taldrya|Shadow Taldrya]]

Biography


"Do you mind if I fight without any pants?"
―Shadow Taldrya

The resident ladies' man, Shadow Taldrya was an odd mixture of incorrigible sex addict and unstoppable killing machine. In both these capacities he managed to serve the team, using his magnetic personality to build contacts and turn assets to his side while, as a warrior, he was first on the field when situations inevitably turned ugly.

Specialties

  • Combat
  • Seduction

Benevolent "Bootman" Whiner

Main article: [[Benevolent Taldrya Whiner|Benevolent Taldrya Whiner]]

Biography


"Marmalade."
―Benevolent Whiner

Benevolent Taldrya Whiner served as the team's resident genius, his aptitude for the subtle art of hacking and electronic warfare offset by his love of big explosions. Unfortunately, these same skills made Benevolent a primary choice for dangerous missions, placing him in the company of the reckless, and much more resilient, Elders. The frequent danger would take its toll on the Primarch's psyche, and he was often forced, kicking and screaming, to jump into dangerous situations where the odds of survival were practically nil.

Specialties

  • Electronic Warfare
  • Demolitions

Sithspawn "Ziggy" Taldrya

Main article: [[Sithspawn Taldrya|Sithspawn Taldrya]]

Biography


"Gentlemen, stand ready. We have come here, at great peril, to claim a bounty upon a vile creature, the mere visage of which is enough to ruin a Hutt's appetite. I intend, fully, to take you into harm's way in pursuit of this beast. We shall pursue it, if need be, to the very ends of the galaxy. This, my good chaps, is our finest hour."
―Sithspawn Taldrya, preparing the troops to capture the White Whale

Sithspawn Taldrya was the team's resident alcoholic, well-trained in the arts of bounty hunting and biological warfare (the latter conducted with his penis). Though often given to bouts of liquor-fueled delusion, Sithspawn still managed to be a capable fighter and an important member of the team. It should also be reported that he had an odd habit (possibly a hobby) of dragging the team on missions to capture great white whales for sport or profit. Generally, the team accepted these strange adventures without remark.

Specialties

  • Bounty Hunting/Tracking
  • Whaling
  • Sexual Warfare

Halcyon "The Bias" Taldrya

Main article: [[Halcyon Taldrya|Halcyon Taldrya]]

Biography


"I was raised on the bias, bitch."
―Halcyon Taldrya

Halcyon Taldrya was officially labeled an ex-member of the Old Folks' Home after returning to active duty as first Voice of the Brotherhood then, even worse, Deputy Grand Master. However, although he was publicly shunned by his former team mates for these traitorous actions, Halcyon actually continued to serve the team as a deeply embedded Dark Council mole, relaying pertinent information to the Home.

Specialties

  • Bureaucracy
  • Bias

Trivia