Since the beginning of time, man has sought pwnage over his fellow man. The Senators of the Old Republic were constantly bickering over the pwnage rights their systems had acquired, and the Jedi were convinced they could own anyone in the galaxy. Then in a stroke of genius, the Emperor and Darth Vader opened a can of tricky pwnage on the Senate and then downright pwned every Jedi left in the galaxy. Once the Galactic Empire was formed, this collective pwnage mindset quickly spread through the Imperial ranks, reaching all the way to the Dark Jedi Brotherhood.
However, while petty Dark Jedi continued practicing the traditional methods of pwning, something new was on the horizon. It was elegant yet simple, classic yet reformed....it was, the bryar. The Bryar changed pwning completely, allowing only the most talented to own, while rejecting the lamers who had attempted to own in the past.
The discovery of the Bryar ushered in a Golden Age of pwnage which will continue on forever.
And now, years later the masters of Bryar pwning decided to hold a tournament... a tournament to discover who was the most awesome pwner of Bryars in the entire Brotherhood. This tournament was called, The Bryar Bowl. Sponsored by Taldryan and open to any man, woman or thing that could wield the Bryar. The combatants must now gather and prove their right to earn the rank of Bryar Pimp of the Brotherhood and wear the sexy Bryar Crown.
History of the Bryar
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| Bryar Relic
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The Bryar Council
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Title/Novelty
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Weapon of the Ancients
The Bryar Council
War of the Pimps
Sport of the Jedi
Recovering the Relics
Bryar Bowl Titles
Bryar Pimp
The Bryar Pimp is the epitome of all that is Bryar. His skill is unparalleled in the Brotherhood and as Pimp he is entitled to the best whores the Brotherhood brothels have to offer.
The Pimps of Bryars Past are the emeritus Bryar Pimps. Their time has come and gone, but they retain a certain amount of respect and naked women. The ranks of the Pimps of Bryar's Past will grow over the years, but at present there is only one Pimp of Bryar Past.
Bryar Bitch
To the runner-up of the final Bryar Bowl match up goes the the shameful title of Bryar Bitch. This loser title signifies that the individual managed to make it to the final battle, but ended up a failure in the eyes of everyone.
Like the Pimps of Bryars Past, we also remember the Bryar Bitches emeritus. Their shame shall live on for eternity or until they can become Bryar Pimps themselves. To have your name removed from the rolls of the Bitches of Bryars Past you must earn a coveted Bryar Relic.
Bryar Relics
The coveted Bryar Crown
Bryar Bowl Crown
The Bryar Crown was created from the bling of the famous Hutt rapper, Daddy X, who lost his fortune buying exotic dancing Twi'leks. The bling was melted down and reforged by the hottest, most naked ladies the galaxy had ever seen. The crown was completed after being embellished with tacky, but expensive jewels and a gold-plated bryar pistol glued to the top.
Currently Owned By: Chaosrain Taldrya
The illustrious Bryar Scepter
Bryar Bowl Scepter
The Bryar Scepter is the second piece of bling in the Bryar Bowl Set™. When Daddy X found his old pimping staffs were breaking upon the asses of his hoes, he vowed to have a new, more durable (and pimptastic) cane made. This would be the beginnings of the Scepter. Along with the rest of Daddy X's bling, this item was auctioned off to the highest bidder who affixed to the top of the scepter the gold-plated bryar pistol.
Currently Owned By: Sharad Taldrya Hett
Bryar Bowl Shield
The Bryar Shield was designed by Daddy X's most skilled hoe, a Twi-Lek fellatio master named Liikez Toosuhk who moonlighted as a weaponsmith. Tired of her beautiful face being drenched in... well, you know...
The impenetrable Bryar Shieldshe decided to create a powerful orgasm-deflecting shield. When it was first discovered, Daddy X flew into a powerful pimp rage bitchslapping every hoe in his path. After his awesome pimp rage wore off, Daddy X sentenced Liikez Toosuhk to become a servicer of Rancors. Large Rancors. She was never seen again (without a ginormous load on her face). The Shield then became an end table for the mighty Hutt rapper, who used it as a conversation piece. When the shield resurfaced after Daddy X's incarceration it boldly displayed the Bryar logo, which was embossed on its center.
Currently Owned By: Sharad Taldrya Hett
Bryar Bowl Glove
The Bryar Glove, last of the fabled Bryar Relics, was a golden glove of the finest material, embellished with five diamond-studded rings that spelled out B-R-Y-A-R. It was the pimpest of pimp gloves and could smack down the toughest of bitches. Daddy X was not always the pimp he became, but was once a lowly apprentice to a much greater pimp known simply as Dirty Jayjay. Jayjay's lust for gold was such that he even had his loincloths tailored from spun gold, a divine artifact that dazzled the eyes and seduced the soul. Daddy X, seeking to make a name for himself and escape the power of his master pimp, stole the holy loincloth and used its power to draw all the whores to him. With this magical relic, Daddy X was the master of the pimpverse and became a legend. The Bryar Glove was created by the Brotherhood's most devoted alchemists, who molded the legendary loincloth into a true pimp's glove.
Currently Owned By: Benevolent Taldrya Whiner
Image forthcoming...
Golden Bryar Pistol
Bryar Bowls Past
Bryar Hard
Overview of the Bowl.
Bryar Bowl II: Bryar Harder
Overview of the Bowl.
Bryar Hard with a Vengeance
Overview of the Bowl.
Live Free or Bryar Hard
Overview of the Bowl.
A Good Day to Bryar Hard
Forthcoming....
See Also
Past Bryar Bowl brackets can be found on the page, Bryar Bowls Past.