The content of this article is split up among several sub pages as it grew too large. To alter the content you may have to edit one of the pages below. Complete Article: Fremoc Pepoi Sadow Transcluded Pages: History One - History Two - History Three - Random
Halcyon - Deputy Grand Master
TALK - 14:23, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
While I haven't found anything that truly breaks "realism", there are a couple of points that you can really work on to improve this article. The first point is regarding the usage of both "Demonic" and "Fremoc Pepoi". You use both names interchangeably when you really shouldn't. In your brief blurb you mentioned that Demonic was your callsign and it was used to often that you basically thought it was your real name. However, you seem to be using your "real" name now, so that needs to be changed or explained a little more clearly. The second point is that you seem to have a armoury of "custom" things...pieces of armor and weapons. It's a bit much for an OT to have, and just because it may have came from your House doesn't make it official. While this will all be taken away with the possessions system, toning it down a bit now would be helpful
Fremoc - Fist of the Brotherhood
TALK - 18:15, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
Alright, messed around with some stuff, removed a bunch of possessions. Thoughts?
TALK - 19:05, 29 July 2010 (UTC)
Yup, looks much better. Thanks, and good job
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