Talk:Fremoc Pepoi

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Complete Article: Fremoc Pepoi Sadow
Transcluded Pages: History One - History Two - History Three - Random

Points of Clarification

Halcyon - Deputy Grand Master

TALK - 14:23, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

While I haven't found anything that truly breaks "realism", there are a couple of points that you can really work on to improve this article. The first point is regarding the usage of both "Demonic" and "Fremoc Pepoi". You use both names interchangeably when you really shouldn't. In your brief blurb you mentioned that Demonic was your callsign and it was used to often that you basically thought it was your real name. However, you seem to be using your "real" name now, so that needs to be changed or explained a little more clearly. The second point is that you seem to have a armoury of "custom" things...pieces of armor and weapons. It's a bit much for an OT to have, and just because it may have came from your House doesn't make it official. While this will all be taken away with the possessions system, toning it down a bit now would be helpful


Fremoc - Fist of the Brotherhood

TALK - 18:15, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

Alright, messed around with some stuff, removed a bunch of possessions. Thoughts?


Halcyon - Deputy Grand Master

TALK - 19:05, 29 July 2010 (UTC)

Yup, looks much better. Thanks, and good job

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