Suggestion
As you are still in the process of updating this article, I thought I would throw out a suggestion now. When writing the article itself, it should be written using a third-person perspective. A wikipedia article should be somewhat akin to an encyclopedia article. That also means the information should not be written as if you were writing a story. It should read more as an historical account rather than if you were reading an adventure. You can go through the Featured Articles to get a better idea of what I'm talking about --Halcyon 20:03, 27 January 2012 (UTC)
Fixed
,,,i hope this is better. Fistandantilusi