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| complete as I see it | | complete as I see it |
| | --[[User:Egregious|Egregious]] 18:14, 29 February 2012 (UTC) |
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| --[[User:Egregious|Egregious]] 18:14, 29 February 2012 (UTC) | | |
| | If I may make suggestions, this article could use a more love before calling it "complete". First thing I notice is that it progressively gets away from being an "encyclopedic article" and starts turning into story. The wrong tense is creeping in to the sentences (I'm looking specifically at the last paragraph of the "Into the Unknown" section as probably the worst case of this). Outside of that, I see images without captions (not strictly necessary, but looks 100% better), too much spacing between paragraphs and some quick spelling and grammar errors (that I'll probably go through and fix later). Honestly, I think it'd be good for you to take a small break from the article and come back at it later instead of filing it away as done forever. --[[User:BenevolentWhiner|Benevolent Whiner]] <small>([[User talk:BenevolentWhiner|talk]] - [[dossier:2706|dossier]])</small> 04:07, 1 March 2012 (UTC) |
Revision as of 04:07, 1 March 2012
complete as I see it
--Egregious 18:14, 29 February 2012 (UTC)
If I may make suggestions, this article could use a more love before calling it "complete". First thing I notice is that it progressively gets away from being an "encyclopedic article" and starts turning into story. The wrong tense is creeping in to the sentences (I'm looking specifically at the last paragraph of the "Into the Unknown" section as probably the worst case of this). Outside of that, I see images without captions (not strictly necessary, but looks 100% better), too much spacing between paragraphs and some quick spelling and grammar errors (that I'll probably go through and fix later). Honestly, I think it'd be good for you to take a small break from the article and come back at it later instead of filing it away as done forever. --Benevolent Whiner (talk - dossier) 04:07, 1 March 2012 (UTC)